Keeping Up with Covid: How to Ride the Wave
Does it feel like we’re all circling the drain?
We’ve been waiting for 2 years now. Constant news updates, case numbers, health system stories. Oh, and the politics. It’s near impossible to summarise the common experience with all of this.
And yet here we are again. Another “wave”. Some people are angry - why didn’t we act sooner? How could we have prevented this? But really, most people are scared. We used to know someone who knew someone who had it. Now we’ve all had close calls, close contacts and even cases confirmed. It feels like the waves keep coming and are only getting larger and closer.
We’re waiting with bated breath of what the leaders of this country will say next. Are we going to face more restrictions and lockdowns after many promises that that was behind us? The anticipation of what’s to come is again causing more angst, blame and criticism. In many cases it’s causing skepticism and mistrust of the government. Unfortunately, that detracts from what this really is - a public health crisis where so many are at risk, sick, or suffering from other health consequences on the periphery of the virus.
How to Stay Afloat
We’ve heard for years now about how to look after our mental health. For the most part, people are doing this really well. We’ve figured out what habits work for us and what don’t, we’ve found new hobbies and new ways of living. But the toll can be huge when there’s a palpable change in energy in society. So let’s move to phase 2: Living according to your values.
What are Values?
Values are aspects of life that are important to us. They differ from goals in that values can’t be “tick-boxed” - eg it might be important to you to live near your family. This can be achieved - TICK. And it’s done. A Value is something that exists on a spectrum, meaning your value might be “healthy relationships”. You can choose how strongly to live by this, and it requires ongoing effort and reflection. Understanding your values help anchor you in what’s important to you, and guide you in the right direction if you’re feeling lost, confused, anxious or overwhelmed. Check out the Values In Action inventory - this is a free questionnaire on understanding your values and character strengths.
A Special Note on Anger
Unsurprisingly, everyone’s values are different and it would be rare to find someone with the exact same values. When someone crosses our values, it often results in anger. This is why we become fired up if someone behaves in ways we disagree with. Given the intensity of the pandemic, we are highly likely to experience a conflict in how people operate, and many many relationships and friendships have broken down because of discrepancies in values (think - “my body my choice” vs “look out for vulnerable members of society”).
Cue. The. Debate.
How to Use Values to Keep Up with Covid?
Once you know what values are important to you - say your top three values are 1) Healthy Relationships; 2) Being Open-Minded and 3) Honesty. You can use these concepts to ground you in your decision-making and how to behave when faced with a challenge. Often, knowing yourself in this way will also help settle your own strong emotions too. For example, imagine you’re having a conversation with someone whose political views differ from yours. Now you’re faced with a dilemma - your values don’t align with someone else’s. But, now you can choose how you want to operate - do you want to keep the peace and focus on the relationship and not contribute to friction? Do you want to try to understand their perspective further and think flexibly about their view-point? Or, do you want to be honest and state that this isn’t something you wish to discuss. You can even use your values to clarify how you feel about a particular topic. Sometimes your own values might be misaligned on certain issues too!
Remember, this situation is incredibly complicated and wherever you land, that’s ok. It’s also ok if it changes. Ultimately, stepping back, taking the time to understand yourself and others will be the surfboard to get us through. You have more floating power than you think.